BILL COSBY, WHO?

A married man told me
he wanted to sleep with me.
Tried to and got mad
When I said no and called him out
And another and another
In the underground scene
I was sent an unsolicited dick pic.
Mutiple.
I was slapped on the ass by
the nicest guy in room
and I didn’t touch him
Or ask for it.
Or told him it was ok
And he won’t remember
But say he’s sorry
Multiple married men actually
Who might be reading this status
Who rubbed on their balls talking to me
Who grabbed me and
started grinding on me
Without my permission
Who followed me off the bus
Because we made eye contact
Who said I was pretty for a black girl.
Who tells me he has a thing for black girls.
A landlord who
felt me up on the elevator
Who stuck his tongue
down my throat
In a high school hallway
and my mouth was closed
Who’s ass was slapped
just because it was there
Walking down memorial hall
Who gets my name wrong
and tells me
I’ll call you what I want
And another
And another
Who licks my ear
as my hair gets cut
Who asks for a BJ
on the subway
Whose pelvis was pumping
right in front of mine
On the train several times
Who tells me
I don’t need makeup
Repeatedly
Adamately
Like, unsolicited.
Who are activists but
want you to change
Everything about you
Who are vegans and
want to remind you
That you need to see their face
So eight pictures in a row
It is.
Whose 16 and I’m three.
Who’s 80 and says
I should be his wife
At 19. And has known me
Since baby.
And I’m not famous
Or testifying
But a local just like you.
And I could out you
Who…
Who is not Bill Cosby
Who is not Nas
Who is not Russ
Who is not R Kelly
Who is…you?

#day28
#napomo
#30for30

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EMBRACING 39.

IMG_0304At 30, I was traditional.
I wanted the ring
The noble ring
With the kids and the house
But at 32, dude making
Way less told me to chill
And be a woman and do less
While his first basement
apartment was his level best
I guess
I’ll let you lead…?!
When I was already leading
my life
Wife?
After two months in.
Sheeeeit.
I’ll swim
in my own lane.
Even though I was in pain,
I was STILL traditional.
I still wanted to be the wife.
With the kids
And the house
The perfect spouse.
At 33, I began to think
maybe it was me
Too strong
Because wives
are supposed to be
Docile
Too black
Because his new boo
lacked
melanin
Too fierce
Because paying my own bills
Is survival
Too much work
Because following your dreams
equals birthing babies
I mean…
all my exes got me vex
Immediately married
With the quickness
As I kept pushing
the envelope
I can cope
with rejection
Been sleeping with it
For a while now.
At 36, he was gonna cheat
on me anyway.
So what do I do?
I’ll tell you.
Be too black
Too strong
Too fine
Too much
Too loud
Too cute
Too thick
Too vegan
Too shiny
Too beautiful
Too nappy
Too extra
Because I gotta
sweet little doggy
named Minty
Who loves my cottage cheese
And is always happy
When I get home
And licks my face when I cry
And at 38, I’ve rejected all traditional
Ideas of dating and romance
Because I feel sexier
Than ever
And I finally believe in myself
And this platform I parade on
Is my higher self
Following everything
I ever wanted
Since 18
Who knows if I’ll ever be
Together
But I’m better
I’ve got my sisters with me
My mother and me
Be free
And I’m in my own house
In my own life
Facing these near evictions head on
Still challenging patriarchy
Writing songs
Maybe you’ll never hear them or me
And that’s ok
But 39 will be new
And my body says,
“Hey boo, I’ve been waiting
on you too…”

How are you embracing your birthday this year?

Check out the performed version below: